Silver Linings

A year or two after my father died (that was back in 2003), I happened to be speaking with someone about grief - about my grief - and this person said "there is no silver lining.  It's just a loss."  At the time, hearing it and knowing how true it was, was such a relief.  I don't know what it is - something about trying to find meaning in terrible events, something about feeling like some kind of spoil-sport socially when there isn't a lesson learned or otherwise uplifting note at the end of a sad story - but the release from those (false) obligations was so soothing and comforting. These past few weeks there have been so many public losses - Amiri Baraka, Pete Seeger, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Sid Caesar and Harold Ramis are just some of the most public - and with each I find myself thinking "it's just a loss."  The world is a poorer place without these people in it.

All of that is what makes what David Bar Katz did in the wake of his friend, Philip Seymour Hoffman's death, all the more extraordinary.  Mr. Katz, never spoke with the National Enquirer but was quoted by that publication as saying any number of terrible and terribly slanderous things.  Mr. Katz, with the help of his attorney, arranged a settlement with the National Enquirer that provides for an ongoing annual gift of $45,000 for an unproduced play.  Of course this doesn't justify Philip Seymour Hoffman's death; there's nothing makes his death "worth it."  Still, if anyone was going to try to make or find a silver lining, $45,000 annually to support the values and vision of the person the world lost is the best effort I've seen.

Read the full article about David Bar Katz and the National Enquirer here.

Children's Literature

I was sorry to miss posting this past Friday but I'm cooking up some good stuff - professionally and for the blog. So, in the meantime, I hope you are as amused as I by this excerpt from a book the kiddo picked out at the library yesterday:

my two favorite guys

Hope you're having a wonderful Valentine's day.I'm feeling grateful for all of the love in my life, but especially for these two:

Two things...

1. The drummer:

2. Both of the poems in the Feb 3, 2014 New Yorker (Putin ice skating whilst being judged by a panel of Putins) were really lovely. Please read them if/when you have the opportunity.

Have a great weekend!!

Friends In The Arts

Some weeks, there's a lot to talk about: great auditions, cool classes, breakthroughs, celebrity encounters. Other weeks are busy and productive and satisfying but not so scintillating in a blog. C'est la vie. Lucky for us all during less dramatic weeks such as this, I have a ton of talented and wonderful friends doing neat things out in the world: In NYC: The Fire This Time Festival, co-produced by my pal Kevin opened this week. My fabulous husband, Carl Riehl, did sound design for the 10-minute plays and for the festival's full-length production, Lord's Resistance.

In other parts of the U.S.: My awesome friend, Rob Neill, is on tour with Peter and the Starcatcher. They're in Michigan right now but they'll be visiting Washington, DC, Hartford, CT, and Providence, RI soon (and then more cities into June).

The Welcome to Nightvale crew, headed up by Jeffrey Cranor and Joseph Fink (with numerous wonderful others in close proximity) have live shows in California, Nevada and Arizona through the end of the month (and are, of course, available where the most popular podcasts can be found).

On The Internet: Miranda's wonderful web project, Friend Stories launched recently.

This weekend we'll be brunching with friends, attending our neighbor's 2nd birthday party, and having dinner guests with whom we will play Cards Against Humanity for the first time. What fun are you up to?

Louie broke TV

Chances are that you're aware of Louie C.K's TV show, Louie.  I think it's great. I came to the show late via Netflix and had, slowly but surely, with pleasure but not in a hurry, worked my way through all of the available episodes. So I was excited to start watching season three when it became available. My TV watching habits are this: I generally watch half an hour of television at 9:30 each week-day night with my husband (if we're both home) and maybe we watch an hour of TV (or a movie if we have time) on the weekend. We have a 22 month old child; watching TV is quasi-luxurious along the lines of eating a box of fancy chocolate (which we also do, but which is another post).

Anyway, in this context, we began watching season three and sometime about a week ago we got to Season 3, Episode 6: Barney/Never. Oh. My. God. Amazing. The only reason I can't go all the way and say that this is the best single episode of TV I've ever seen, is that it's tied with the Harry Belafonte episode of the Muppet Show. But I truly don't think any episode of TV is better - tied, maybe, but not better. I don't want to give all the good stuff away but: Robin Williams, strip club, bowls of meat, Louie doing an interview on drive-time radio, excessively "progressive" parenting and so much more. I can not stop thinking about the Barney/Never episode and the more I think about it, the more genius things I discover in it. This episode totally raises the TV-bar - like, now because I know how good TV can be, I'll enjoy all of the other TV 20% less.

Do us all a favor and watch it next time you have half an hour available for TV. Leave a comment and let me know what you think. Here it is on Amazon but I'm sure you can find it on your favorite online-tv-viewing platform.

P.S. How about Louie in American Hustle?! I thought he rocked it. And have you seen him on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee? I feel like he and Seinfeld have a weird rapport, but it's still a great one to watch.

Mailing list

Recently, I got a really great and inspiring e-mail from my college friend Miranda.  Miranda is generally pretty great and inspiring.  She's a writer with two novels already published and a third about to come out.  Entertainment Weekly recently named her one of their 14 Rising Stars to Watch in 2014 (it's about time, I say!) and she's got a very cool and exciting web project about to launch as well.  Anyway, about a week ago, I got this e-mail from her that basically said "hello friend who used to be on my mailing list. I'm going to send out a mailing list again. Would you like to be on it?" And it was so gentile and genuine and of course I wanted to be on it! (You should too! Go here and sign up!) Then, a day or two later, I got a great e-mail update from my friend Kevin (who really needs to keep up the updates because he always has so much great stuff going on) and THAT was so great because of course I want to know what Kevin is up to!

And that was the one-two punch - Miranda! Kevin! Bam! - that inspired me to dust off my own mailing list (which has not seen action in at least a couple of years).  Last year, in spite of some pretty significant obstacles, I had a GREAT year and, in retrospect, I wish I'd been letting people know what I was up to and where they could see me or how they could cheer me on.

Several years ago, not too long after Miranda's first book had come out, she and I and a few others were gathered at the apartment of a mutual friend.  Miranda was talking about how a number of her peers had treated her shabbily - clearly jealous of her early success.  On the one hand, Miranda understood because she's smart and we all know that feeling - that "I want that!" bitterness - but on the other hand she was a bit baffled.  She said "if it's good for one of us, it's good for all of us."  She was talking about how the success of one in the group contributes towards the success of the group as a whole, and I've thought of her words often since.

Anyway, if you'd like to be on MY mailing list you can sign up by clicking here.  If all goes really well for me, you can expect an e-mail every 4-6 weeks, so I promise it won't be overwhelming.  Have your own mailing list?  Post a link in the comments.  We can all follow along and celebrate each others successes!

Happy New Year!

Oh hello, 2014! Delighted to see you. 2013 was the best of times and the worst of times. It was equal parts laughter and tears, overcoming and being overwhelmed, success and . . . not success. Most of the negatives stemmed from a major challenge in my personal life that had me dropping everything short of basic survival (and parenting) for May, June, July and August. So, although when I look back at the list of goals I made for myself at the start of 2013, there are plenty I didn't achieve, I still feel really good about what happened in my career in 2013. Here are the highlights:

• I got paid for acting things a LOT more than I had in a long time which was AWESOME!
• I recorded my first audio book which was a long-time dream I thought was too far off to even aspire to. It was such a great experience and I'm hoping to do many more in the coming year.
• I had a great run with the New York Neo-Futurists. After more than two years away from the company, it was great to be back and feel simultaneously new and fresh and established and comfortable. You kind of wish you could go back to EVERY job (at least every job you liked or cared about) and try again for a few weeks with hindsight.
• I got great new headshots.
• I got my reel together and up on my website.
• I did selective-but-effective professional development that taught me a lot.
• Voice overs and industrial videos and short films . . . I've set my goals in the more parent-friendly non-theater realm for the moment and it was great to find work there (and feel I did it well!)

I'm not really one for New Year's resolutions, except for my annual "drink more water" (some year I'll actually do it), but I do have some plans and goals for 2014.

In the personal housekeeping department, I'm very exited to return to regular exercise for the first time since before my (21 month old) son was born. I'm similarly pumped to clean out my closet - clean it WAY out - and then refill it only slightly with clothes that serve my goals as they are now. Finally, maybe because I didn't really get a break over the holidays, I'm excited to be a little less up-tight and give myself a little more time for things that I enjoy. Just a little.

Professionally, the plan is to continue to pursue my VO and on-camera goals: representation, more auditions, more bookings (more fun and more money!) and MORE AUDIO BOOKS! The silver lining of needing to cease and desist career-related activities this past Spring/Summer is that there's plenty of work to do, already itemized in last year's "goals/actionable items" document. So . . . here I go!

Hope your year is off to a great start. Leave a comment with one of YOUR goals for the coming year.

Tokyo-bound

No.  Not me.  My hairstylist.  Next week. After 18 years in New York (and at least 12 or 13 years cutting my hair), my awesome hair guy is moving back to his home country, Japan.  He'll be in Tokyo building his own hair styling business.  If you or someone you know is (or is going to be) in Tokyo, I strongly encourage you to look him up.  The world deserves Kenji hair, even if I can't have it anymore.

Kenji's website.

"Big Scenes"

I read this poem by James Richardson in a recent New Yorker and, a few days later, had to stop everything to root through bags and various recycling bins in my home to find it again.  I tore it out and now it's on my 'fridge. I couldn't find any way/place to link to the poem in a way that anyone can read it - the link above goes to the New Yorker's website where you need a subscription to read the whole thing, but it's from the October 14 New Yorker which has a dog on the cover so . . . maybe keep an eye out.  Some doctor's office or friend's bathroom in your not-too-distant future is bound to have it.

September Recap

Wow!  September was a zippy whirlwind which was great and also a little sad since September is my favorite month and I wouldn't have minded a little more time to luxuriate in it.  Here are most of the things that happened in September:

• My son started school (and I with him, since he is still very little - I sit on a bench and watch while he does his thing).
• We went apple picking at this place where I've been going for years.
• I took a great class with Paul Russell
• I did a really fun reading with Project Rushmore Theater Company.
• Kevin R. Free and I (finally) finished the most recent draft of our web series; we made ourselves and each other laugh enough that we're going to start sharing it with some other people because we really want to get it made and out into the world!
• We visited my husband's parents in PA
• I got new headshots!  Then I went to Reproductions and spent even more than I did getting the photos taken on printing headshots, postcards and business cards.  I get to pick everything up tomorrow!
• I project-managed the invitation for the New York Neo-Futurists' 2013 Gala (Nov 12 - go! I'll be there too!)
• I got to visit with a friend currently living in Japan and another friend living in New Orleans
• Took the kiddo to the pediatrician (all good) and the dentist (ditto)!

I just need a minute to catch my breath and then, watch out, October!

Hello, September!

Although Autumn won't officially begin 'till September 22, I think it's safe to say that with the calendar click over into September and the passage of Labor Day, spiritually we're into Fall.  I for one couldn't be happier! I love EVERYTHING about Fall. I love the way the air smells, I love the clothes I get to wear, I love going back to school (or, this year, starting my kiddo in school for the first time!).  I love apple picking and soup and making bread.  I love being outside in the cooler air, the changing colors, and getting back to a more regular schedule than the chaotic months of Summer tend to cultivate.

What do you love (or hate?) about Autumn?

To tide you over . . . (thanks, Japan!)

Hey The Blog!  It's been too long - I've been auditioning and acting and taking care of some family stuff and researching preschools, none of which has been conducive to blogging.  So to fill the void while I catch up on things over here, here are two videos for you: 1. You may have seen this one - it's kind of sweeping the internet.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPhbVTf52Go]

2. This one is NOT sweeping the internet but I find it endlessly fascinating/hilarious/odd/weird.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqzt3T4R38c]

Leave a comment and . . . Strike, Mr. Ando! Strike!

Nuptuals

Larry Kramer got married! Congratulations to him and his husband!!

Blogger Appreciation Month Week 4 - Joanna Goddard Continued: Linkapalooza!

This month I’m appreciating a handful of bloggers I love and admire. This week, I'm looking at Joanna Goddard who writes A Cup Of Jo.  (With apologies, last week events conspired against my posting my last two posts about Ms. Goddard which is why (you may notice) she's in weeks 3 and 4.) One of my favorite things every week is the Cup Of Joe Friday e-mail with a little blurb about what Ms. Goddard and her family are up to for the weekend and then a bunch of great links to fun and interesting stuff all over the web.  Here is last Friday's to give you a taste.  I'll often save these Friday posts 'till I have the time to click every single link.  I have my browser set up to make new tabs every time I click a link so I'll have this huge lineup of tabs and then I'll work my way through - it's like eating dessert on the internet.  Anyway, I can't hold a candle to the Cup of Jo roundups, but here are some of my favorite links for your clicking pleasure, nonetheless:

This and this are two of my favorite youtube videos of all time (note that both are educational!)

The recent Royal Baby Watch reminded me of this gem

And, speaking of, here is an excellent chart about Royal Succession

The man who turned dog walking into a business recently died

If you didn't see it, I encourage you to watch the President's remarks about Trayvon Martin

My friends Jeffrey and Joseph have a podcast that is wildly successful! (maybe you would like it too?!)

Little People street art

This new service prints you a backup key if you accidentally get locked out of your apartment! (would you use this?)

Lately I really want to make these, these and these (if only my 1 year old felt the same!)

Blogger Appreciation Month Week 4 - Joanna Goddard: Relationship Advice

This month I’m appreciating a handful of bloggers I love and admire. This week, I'm looking at Joanna Goddard who writes A Cup Of Jo.  (With apologies, last week events conspired against my posting my last two posts about Ms. Goddard which is why (you may notice) she's in weeks 3 and 4.) Some of the Cup of Jo posts I think back on most frequently are the ones where Ms. Goddard offers some tip or advice from a purely personal perspective.  I often think of this one and this one.  By the time I read it, I was too late to put this one to good use, but I passed it on to a girlfriend or two.

Anyway, I figured I would share some relationship advice of my own . . .

Meet once a week to check in about how the relationship is going. 

Maybe that sounds daunting or boring, or lame, or un-sexy, but it doesn't have to be any of those things.  Honest!  My husband and I started doing this to balance out my inclination to react quickly and over-talk any conflict or emotional issue that came up during the week and his inclination to under-communicate about the same sorts of things. We'd usually do it over brunch on Saturday or Sunday when we were feeling relaxed and (even if we sometimes had to have a hard talk) it became a really nice ritual.

Early on, having a weekly meeting let me take a deep breath and cool my heels about upsets (which let some of them simply evaporate) and forced my husband not to sit on things that were upsetting or irritating for too long.  It isn't that we didn't talk about stuff as it came up the rest of the week, but having the meeting let us feel okay about not dwelling, especially if we didn't really have the time to sort things out right then.

These days, our talks are much more casual and we've been known to accidentally skip a week here and there when things are too frantic, but stuff still comes up.  Also, the talks have become a nice opportunity to appreciate one another or offer support - it isn't always about a problem, it's a chance to do a quick tune-up to keep our relationship in good order.

What do you think?  Would you try this?  How have you addressed "relationship maintenance" in your life?  Leave a comment and let me know!

Blogger Appreciation Month Week 3 - Joanna Goddard: Products

This month I’m appreciating a handful of bloggers I love and admire. This week, I'm looking at Joanna Goddard who writes A Cup Of Jo. Over time, I've picked up more than one great recommendation from Ms. Goddard. Most notably, two great sunscreens - one from Josie Maran (which we use on ourselves and the kiddo) and one that's somewhat less pricey from Say Yes To Cucumbers which has been great for the kiddo and which comes in stick form (super convenient for getting it on his face but not in his eyes).

So, I thought today I'd share with you my five favorite cosmetic products:

1. Tarte BB Cream.

This stuff has changed my life. Worn alone with a little (tinted or not) lip gloss, I'm all of a sudden way more pulled together and "adult" than I was the 45 seconds before I rubbed it all over my face. Bonus: it does nice things for my skin while I'm wearing it!

2. Cocoa Butter Lip Care Stick from the Body Shop.

This is what Chapstick wishes it could be: it's thick enough to make an impact when your lips are feeling chapped but it's great as a gloss when your lips are in great shape too, it's never sticky, and it tastes great. I wear it alone all the time, but even days I want to be more made up, I use a lip pencil all over my lips an then this on top.

3. Olay Total Effects 7-in-1 Tone Correcting Eye Cream

A couple of years ago, Consumer Reports did a study of a bunch of anti-aging creams and found that Oil of Olay's products were the only ones that really lived up to their claims. Also, putting this on immediately makes me look brighter and more awake.

4. Frederick Fekkai Brilliant Glossing Cream.

My hair used to be stick straight and, since I've had my son some of it has turned wavy. So, I can't vouch for this on super curly hair but it's pretty amazing on everything short of ringletts. Picture this: you fix your hair. It looks good. You rub a pea sized dollop in your hands and then work it through your hair and - BAM! - now you look like some professional hair person did your hair. I bullied my friend Sarah into trying it just the other day and she was instantly won over - it could have been a commercial.

5. Clarisonic Mia Skin Cleansing System

Okay. I don't have the Mia. I have an old version that you can't get anymore but if I were buying one today, it'd be the Mia. I also have a Clarisonic toothbrush and I feel like the company's products are excellent in general. The "skin cleansing system" does a great job of gently but thoroughly cleaning my face and helping keep my skin nice - a lot nicer than before I had the Clarisonic.

As you can probably tell, I'm not so much a "makeup" person as a "try to keep my hair and skin looking nice without too much makeup" person. But I think what's great about that is that, when you (or I) want to add makeup on top, it's even easier and prettier.

Leave a comment with your favorite product. Or try one of mine and let me know how you like it!

Blogger Appreciation Month Week 3 - Joanna Goddard: An Introduction

This month I’m appreciating a handful of bloggers I love and admire. This week, I'm looking at Joanna Goddard who writes A Cup Of Jo.
Ms. Goddard is a delightful blogger and I always look forward to seeing her posts come up in my reader. What are the things that I love about A Cup Of Jo? I'm glad you asked.

- The excellent use of images in every post. They add energy and, in longer posts, I feel they really compliment the sense of pacing in the writing.

- The writing style. Ms. Goddard writes in a way that, to me, feels honest and open and very specifically personal to her and her experience. The result is her repeated ability to touch on not-so-easy topics in a way that's meaningful and graceful.

- The kiddo posts - from advice to recommendations to super-cute stories about her son* - her blogs about parenting are always great. (I love this one.)

- The recommendations - Recipes! Gear! Gift Guides! Outings! Shoes, Shoes and more Shoes! If she's recommending it, chances are pretty good I'm putting it on some Pinterest board for later.

- The Friday link-a-paloozas! These are like blog-candy: every Friday, Ms. Goddard posts a bunch of links to all kinds of awesome and interesting stuff around the web. Sometimes I save this post in my feed 'till I really have time to explore all the links - it's such a treat!

This Friday I'm going to try to post my own super-link-fest here. If you have a favorite internet thing, post it in the comments! Maybe it'll make the list.

*Ms. Goddard recently gave birth to a baby boy! Congratulations to her and her whole family!!

Blogger Appreciation Month Week 2 - Maggie Mason: Life List

This month I’m appreciating a handful of bloggers I love and admire. This week, I'm looking at Maggie Mason who writes MightyGirl. A major through-line of Maggie Mason's internet presence is the idea of a Life List. She made her own . . . I'm not sure when, but years ago. Then she started to spread her idea. She created Mighty Summit and then Camp Mighty - small and larger scale retreats, both designed to help people fulfill their Life Lists. Most recently she founded Go Mighty - a whole company devoted to using Life Lists to help people better themselves and their worlds/communities.

All along, I've been like "Life List. That's cool. Not my thing." As an actor in NYC, I've generally felt that my career goals - and the interim steps to achieve them - were my life list. And, when it comes down to it, I don't have 100, I have one: to be a working, NYC-based actor who fully supports herself as an artist. That would be huge.

Still, this week is all about Ms. Mason so I've been gearing up to take my own stab at a Life List. I went back and read hers, I've poked around Go Mighty a bit more than I had before and a funny thing has been happening: as I've been reading and thinking this time around, the whole Life List thing feels a lot less "not my thing" than it did before. Maybe it's having a kid and not having the freedom to do whatever whenever anymore that's all of a sudden bringing me around to the idea? Or just the general (and generally different) perspective I have now versus the one I had then.

Life Lists and I still aren't running towards each other across a field with open arms but I'm feeling much more ready to take a stab. Here goes:

1. Return to dine at Chez Marcel. 2. Sleep in a fancy grown-up tree-house. 3. Visit Greece to see the birthplace of modern drama. 4. Make awesome Halloween costumes for my kiddo every year 'till he's too old. 5. Become a better sewer so that I can make (simple) pieces of clothing. 6. Finish my play; have a reading. 7. Take a bike vacation with the kiddo. 8. Take my mom on vacation for Mother's Day in 2014 (Bermuda?!). 9. Produce the web series. 10. Visit New Orleans and eat all of the things. 11. Attend a clam bake on the beach. 12. Have an oyster party where I get a bunch of oysters and shuck them and then we eat them with delicious cocktails. 13. Become an Intermediate Ukulele player. 14. Own an ice cream maker and make my own. 15. Perform the role of "Dotty" in Stoppard's Jumpers 16. Visit India 17. Make delicious Floating Island. 18. Go curling (ideally in Canada). 19. Get serious about Badminton. 20. Have a professional encounter with Jon Stewart. 21. Visit the Sol Lewitt walls at MassMOCA 22. Go back to Hawaii and become a solid "beginner" surfer. 23. Have a spritz in Venice. 24. Take a vacation with my husband and son AND a bunch of other friends. 25. Smile for a photo without feeling badly about my teeth.

Phew. That was hard. But also fun. Take a stab at making your own Life List and link to it in the comments so we can all see!

Blogger Appreciation Month Week 2 - Maggie Mason: Manic Pixie Dream Blogger?

This month I’m appreciating a handful of bloggers I love and admire. This week, I'm looking at Maggie Mason who writes MightyGirl. Here's a pro-tip from me to you: don't vacuum your computer with the regular vacuum, even if you're using the fuzzy attachment on the end of the hose attachment thing.

Here's another pro-tip: When you need to fish something important out of a vacuum bag (a number 3 computer key, perhaps) use disposable wooden chopsticks. They prevent your dunking your hands in dirt and yuck and you can just throw them out after.

So why was I vacuuming my computer? Because the corner of my home - behind the sofa in the living room - that counts as my "office" has been having a bug problem. Teeny tiny little grey bugs. I first noticed them because I'd be sitting there working at my computer and feel a tickle - "what's this little bug on my hand? Oh, look, more on the computer." I'd squish them and move on. But earlier this week it became clear that the bug situation was escalating so today, I found myself standing in Bug Corner, as it is now known, trying to suck up all the little jerks.

And during all of this - indeed, all week - I've been thinking about Maggie Mason. How could I honor and appreciate her here? And, truly, her writing has made me such a better blogger than I would otherwise be (which is not to say there isn't still some room to grow).

Suddenly I remembered that Maggie Mason once had a bug problem! And she had great advice about how to clean a computer (much more specific than mine above). That made me remember her homemade salad bar (so clever!) and snack dinner (Number 2 in this post but read the rest of it too; I think about number 5 a lot).

As I thought back on so many great posts, I think what makes them all so great is that Ms. Mason shows a lot more than she tells. When she writes about her bug freak-out, she doesn't explain that she was freaked out and analyze the many ways and reasons that's the case, she just freaks out in writing and we get it. Of course that's a generalization and there are times that some explanation is called for (and even then, I think she has a nicely light touch). Still, I think this is why it's been so hard to find ways to blog "in homage" to her - she's just a good writer writing about her life. If I can manage to be a good writer writing about my life, it won't look like an homage to anyone (I don't think), but we can all know that Maggie Mason had a hand in the matter.